Unfulfilled desire to have children – between hope and despair

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Unfulfilled desire to have children – between hope and despair

The desire for children is for many couples a fundamental part of their relationship. Many men and women see their relationship until a child completes; typically, you will be confirmed by your environment also. Most people do not have to worry about it, you can realize your desire may be. However, an estimated 15 to 20 percent of all couples in Germany can get no children.

The search for the causes of their infertility remains for many a Few unsuccessful: While the medicine has numerous reasons for infertility in men and women, about a third of couples no reason. Even if the cause can be determined and treated, the pairs of a physically and emotionally grueling journey from one doctor to the next is often not spared.

Gradually Causes Research

Regardless of whether from infertility (no pregnancy despite regular unprotected intercourse within 2 years) or infertility (any disorder of the procreative ability or, respectively, no pregnancy despite regular unprotected intercourse within 1 year) is spoken, is followed for investigation and possible treatment is usually a step-by-step plan, the consecutive points to poll and investigated.

The Man:

  • external sex organs (testes, epididymis)
  • previous diseases such as urinary tract infections, Mumps, Prostatitis,
  • Operations in the Genital and belly area
  • Varicose veins
  • Problems with erection and ejaculation
  • Notes on human genetic factors such as hereditary disorders in the family
  • Stress in the workplace
  • family pressure
  • sexual habits

In the case of the woman:

  • previous methods of contraception
  • Irregularities in the cycle, by determining the basal temperature curve over 2 months
  • Knowledge of the fertile days
  • Hormone analysis
  • Special studies of the uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes
  • Abdominal surgery/disorders
  • Suspected pelvic inflammation
  • Rubella Antibody Status
  • previous pregnancies

With both of them:

  • sexually transmitted diseases
  • psycho-therapeutic experience
  • psychiatric treatment

The causes of infertility is stressful and time-consuming, and the outcome uncertain. In addition, infertility is not considered in Germany as a family medical task, but men and women are separated for the respective specialists (gynecologist, urologist, andrologist).

According to a recent study by the University of Göttingen, many of the couples ger ade your choice for childlessness, a single medical competent person that collects the individual results of the investigation and the further steps of the treatment are coordinated. In the context of the current changes in healthcare, it is conceivable that the in-house doctors taking on a role as a coordinator and facilitator.

Psychological Care

For dealing with unwanted childlessness is a targeted and as early as possible psychological support is useful in any case. Many couples feel that their infertility as an extremely distressing and suffer. The concentration on the question “Why we can’t have a child” avoids dealing with possible problems in the relationship.

In the vicious circle of tense Desire, failure to Try and unfulfilled longing is, in part, to massive Stress. The stress hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline will take place in the budget of the sex hormones, and reduce fertility. After all, no one can say what came first: the Suffering of infertility or childlessness of grief.

To bind the personal well-being and self-esteem so closely to a child, however, is dangerous. The partnership is soon behind the child, other interests can be maintained or further developed.

Advice does Not

Since 2000, there has been the advice network desire to have children in Germany, in which consultants and advisors have closed, children are free pairs to the side. Discussions and conversation options, there are, among other things, also in the case of Pro Familia and the welfare associations.

Objective of the consultancy is to provide support to and accept involuntary childlessness. This acceptance does not mean Resignation or task. Rather, you should allow a re-orientation and make it clear that a life without a child may be possible and, above all, worth living.

Couples who opt for the procedures of reproductive medicine, is also in need of psychological support, such as those that give up their dream of a child. Those who opt for artificial insemination or In-vitro fertilization, is informed about the risks and dangers. In General, the desire to have children and the success of the treatment are in the foreground.

The possibility of during this treatment, a qualified crisis talks should be exhausted in any case. These conversations help with the often intense pressure from the family and circle of friends are better. The Opening to the outside, the active communication of the desire to have a child and of one’s own suffering is an important step to Overcoming of grief and Stress.

Alternative concerns

The role as a foster or adoptive parent can be an Alternative and discussed. At numerous pairs just this reorientation has led to the ultimate inner impetus and all the emotional blockages are removed: Only a little later the desire was a child.